Title: Classified 
Author: Revely (revely_c@yahoo.com)
Date: 11.7.01


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For Rent: Apartment: 42 Hegal Place. No Bedroom/One bedroom (depends).
Hardwood floors (small red stain in front hall/bedroom water damage/tiny
bullet hole in wall). Drippy (but rhythmic) bathroom faucet. Furnished:
leather couch (some stains), waterbed (against CC&Rs, but too tiresome to
remove. Might possibly be a loaner anyway). Building has fascinating
history, particularly hallway. Tolerant neighbors. Contact F. Luder:
555-4872

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For Sale: Extensive porn collection. Mid 80's (plethora of leggy blondes)
through late '90's (plethora of petite redheads). Dustjackets not available -
cased discreetly in "World's Deadliest Swarms" boxes.  Must go. Moving, can't
take to new abode. Contact Diesmokingbastarddie@email.com

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Help Wanted: Babysitter for one child, five month old. Monday - Friday, 
8-5.  Willingness to be on-call a plus. Must know CPR, self-defense, be
willing to submit to extensive background check(s). License to Carry
Concealed not necessarily considered drawback. House has extensive
security system.  Contact DKS 555-4291. To start immediately - baby's
Father returning to work.


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