Title: Lone Wolf Author: Alelou Feedback: Alelou123@aol.com Rating: G Keywords: V, Mulder Angst Spoilers: Alpha, One Son Summary: Very short post-ep for "Alpha" Disclaimer: Chris Carter's and 1013's, not mine. Feedback/Archive: Eyup Notes: Once you get past the ridiculous plot, this episode has a lot of intriguing emotional notes. Decided to play one out a bit further. There are some ideas in this that you will find in previous fanfic by other authors, particularly the separate office thing. But I think I went my own way with them. (Certainly hope so!) Thanks to MystPhile for beta-reading. LONE WOLF Scully says Karen Berquist thought she had found a kindred spirit in me. I wish I knew what, if anything, Scully thinks she has found in me. A fool who will believe anything anyone says to him? An eccentric colleague she no longer wants to share an office with? She requested and got her own office when they gave us back the X files. She said there was no room for a proper working area for her in the basement. She's got a tiny little office upstairs, with her name plate on the door: Dr. Dana Scully. It has a desk. She never even asked me about it, just arranged it with Skinner. My response was, of course, to crow about how now I had all that basement office space all to myself again. My home. My nest to feather. I don't look at her while I say these things, hoping they sting her as much as they sting me. If they do, she doesn't show it. She has a quiet resolve about her these days that seems to have everything to do with keeping herself separate from me. She hasn't touched me in a long time. And vice versa. When I went to wake her up, in the hallway of that hospital where she fell asleep radiating anger and disapproval, I didn't dare to do it the way I used to, with a light touch on her cheek. I substituted the rolled up magazine for my hand. Not that she's totally disconnected. She still comes down and checks on me on her way out every day. She usually checks on me on her way in, too. She comes down regularly. "Mind if I ask the cause of death?" she asked me on this one, before we headed out there. What kind of question is that from a partner? How did we get to to the point where she has to ask me if I mind? Maybe it's because I don't go up there if I can help it. To her and her separate office. Perhaps that hardens her resolve, bolsters her case for keeping me at a distance, but I can't do it. I refuse to acknowledge that it exists. I wait until she comes down to tell her things. Sometimes I just don't tell her things. I know that all of this has everything to do with another woman I wanted to believe: Diana. Scully was probably right about her, too. I haven't seen Diana since that night her body didn't turn up burned at El Rico, though Skinner says she's working out of a field office. Scully doesn't bring it up, and I don't bring it up either. Scully said that Karen lived by her instincts. Apparently she assumes that I also live by my instincts, that this is why we're kindred spirits. My instinct right now is to curl up in my den and hide my head under my tail. Scully comes in, and makes a tentative attempt to nose at me, to lick my wounds. But soon she walks away, trailing her scent behind her. A scent that smells for all the world like disappointment. Maybe what Karen recognized in me was the desperation of a lone wolf howling at the moon, mourning his lost mate. END