Disclaimer:  Nope, these characters aren't mine.

Category: VA
Classification: MSR
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Within/Without
Archive: Gossamer. Spookys. Further X. Others ask me.
Feedback: Knock yourself out.
Summary: "Time has stopped for us, but it's just a temporary
delay. I have to believe that."
Thanks to: Shannon and Sara Lynn.
Author's Note: (for Sara Lynn) Hankie alert! You've been warned. 

"Stopped Time"
by Lisa 
haven599@msn.com


 You are my one and only thought. 

 I have nothing else now but the image of you in my mind.  

 I miss you so much.  

 I have no concept of time here.  I don't know if I was taken two
days or two years ago.  I gave up on trying to figure it out.  Sealed in
darkness, it's too hard to estimate hours, days, or weeks. It's 
just not productive. 

 I do remember that you were sick when I last saw you.  I hope 
it's not serious.  You've got to be okay by now.  I have to believe
you are fine.  It's the only way to save my sanity, which is hanging
on by the thinnest of threads.  

 I won't lie to you; the tests are painful.  Some days excruciating. 
I keep wondering if this is what you went through. Did they hurt
you like this? Your memories are hazy, so perhaps they spared 
you this pain.  I don't believe anyone could forget these things.
I'd rather it happen to me than you. 

 It makes a weird kind of sense that I was abducted.  After all 
these years, it shouldn't really surprise you, should it? 

 As long as you're safe and sound, that's all I care about. I have
so many questions for you about the case, our jobs, and the X-Files, 
but most of all just . . . us. 
 
 I need to see you again. That's the only thing that keeps me
going, and I hope it comes true soon so I'll get the chance to show
you how much I love you.  I want to make love to you again, Scully, 
those few times weren't enough. Time has stopped for us, but it's 
just a temporary delay. I have to believe that.

 I'm so weak, both physically and emotionally.  Sometimes they 
don't let me out of the chair for what seems like days.  I shuffle 
back to my room to get as much sleep as I possibly can before the 
next treatment.  If I'm lucky, my dreams will be filled with images 
of you.  

 When I remember, I repeat your phone number over and over again
so I won't forget.  My mind doesn't seem to be as agile as before.
It's as if I have less capacity for storage, if that makes any
sense.  If They let me go or I manage to get out of here, I hope
I can find you.  Of course, without money, clothes, or a source of 
transportation, it may prove difficult.  I have no idea if I'm ten 
or ten thousand miles away from you.  Maybe I can get by on my looks
alone.  

 I wish I could write these words down so you could read them. I 
want you to know what's in my head.  Read my thoughts.  If only I  
still had the power I did last fall. I wish I knew what you were
feeling. I want to be there to reassure you that I'll be fine, but
I don't even know myself right now.  

 Maybe too much time has gone by and my words are irrelevant.
If so, I hope you have moved on with your life.  I hope you've met
someone. I don't want you to be alone. 

 Remember when I told you there was more than this? Well, I hope
you've found it. As much as I love and respect you, I want you to be
happy and choose your own path, and if that's apart from me I 
understand. I hope I see you again.  If not, remember I love you.
Always.  

****
END (1/1)      

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