Disclaimer: Nope, these characters aren't mine. 

Category: VA
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Within/Without
Archive: Gossamer.  Spookys. Further X. Others ask me.
Feedback: Knock yourself out.
Summary:  Scully loses perspective. 
Author's Note: Thanks to Sara Lynn for the editing. 
               Thanks to MD for refocusing my lens. 

"Refocusing the Lens" (1/1)
by Lisa 
haven599@msn.com 

Scully's Apartment 
7:27 p.m. 


 Ever since she was discharged from the hospital, Scully couldn't
focus on anything. There were just too many changes in her life.  

 Her child. Agent Doggett.  The future of The X-Files: it seemed 
everything hinged upon Mulder's return. 

 Scully wiped a tear from her cheek just as a loud knock at her 
door startled her.  She glanced through the peephole before 
disengaging the lock.  

 "Sir, what are you doing here?"  Scully asked, opening the door
to Skinner.   It was the first time she remembered seeing him in 
jeans.  What was he doing here so late?  "Did you find any leads 
on Mulder?"  she asked excitedly.  

 He shook his head sadly and walked inside.  "How are you feeling,
Scully?" 

 "A little better," she replied. The bruises were still visible on
her chin and neck.  "What about you?" His glasses didn't mask all of 
the redness under his eyes.

 "I'm fine," he muttered.  

 "I wished I knew what to do next," she sighed, lowering herself 
onto the sofa.  "What now?"  Scully looked up at him, as if he 
was imbued with some newfound insight.    

 Skinner joined her on the couch. "Dana," he said softly,  "I came
here to let you know that I'm going to do everything in my power to
find him." 

 She nodded.  "I know you will."  Scully remembered how upset he
was when he told her Mulder was gone.  Things were still fresh since 
their trip to Arizona.  She reached over and covered his hand with
hers. "Thank you."  It was barely a whisper. 

 "I don't know what to do anymore.  Really, I don't.  Perhaps you 
were right.  This has gone too far.  But what am I supposed to 
do?" she replied, feeling more unsettled than ever.  "Mulder would
know what to do. I can't think like he can."

 "Don't discount your abilities, Scully," Skinner told her. "Don't
second guess yourself." 

 But, I must be missing something. . ." Scully began. "Something
that Mulder would see right off the bat.  His mind works differently
than mine."

 "Do you think Mulder was the only one who worked to solve the
X-Files?"  Skinner asked.  "You felt you made no contributions 
whatsoever?" 

 "No, I didn't mean that."  Scully shook her head. "Maybe I need
to go back to Arizona.  There's some connection I'm not making."

 "What you need to do is take it easy for a few days.  You've 
got more at stake now."  He slid over to her, touching her 
shoulder gently. "Your pregnancy, I mean.  You should try and be
more careful now." 

 "Don't you think I know that," she snapped.  "I really thought
it was you in that room and then . . . then it was too late."  
Scully quickly wiped at the few tears running down her cheeks, 
trying to maintain her composure in front of her former supervisor.

 "Scully, I'm not blaming you for anything."  Skinner moved to
stand up in front of her.  "It could have happened to anyone."  

 "No, it could *be* anyone. We already know this alien has 
transformed himself into Mulder," Scully stated.  "If Mulder 
showed up at my door right now how would I know it's really him?"
The tears started again and this time she didn't try and wipe them
away, thinking about coming face-to-face with the alien impersonating
Mulder and not knowing what to believe. "I don't want to end up 
shooting the father of *my* child. . ." 

 "You'll know, Scully.  You'll know," he reassured her. 

 Scully grabbed a tissue on the end table and wiped at her cheeks
carefully.  She took a calming breath before asking this: "Where do 
you think he is?"  Scully asked, frightened of his reply. It could
already be too late.  

 "Honestly, Scully, I don't know," Skinner said.  "I wish I had 
something more encouraging to say to you."  

 She nodded, appreciating his honesty.  "I don't know how I would 
explain this to our child if he doesn't come back,"  she sobbed. 

 Skinner sat down, putting his arms around her. Scully 
was grateful for this unexpected comfort and let him hold her, 
allowing herself a few moments of vulnerability.   

 "Scully, you're never going to think like Mulder, but that 
doesn't mean you can't find him," he assured her. "You have more 
motivation than anyone." 

 Skinner left after uttering those words.  Scully thought about
them all night and realized he was right.  She was well up to the
challenge.  She had one very good reason to focus on.  

 And that reason was within her.  

****
END (1/1)

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