"Irreversible"
by Scott Miller and Lisa

Rating: NC-17
Categories: SRA
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance

Okay folks, its time once again to withdraw from the shadows of lurkdom
to post another gem of fanfiction to brighten your already sunny days.
This time Lisa and I teamed up and played tag with a story idea.  See if
YOU can find the breaks (good luck).

Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are comfortably within the deep pockets of
one Mr. Chris Carter and his production company.  I am certainly not
reaching into his pockets to get anything, much less Mulder and Scully.

Feedback is a complicated issue here.  Sure we want it, but make sure you
email both Lisa (haven599@msn.com) and me, Scott Miller
(scgmille@indiana.edu).  Thanks, and Enjoy.


   Sunlight was never Mulder's ally.  An advantage to being in the basement
of the FBI was the ability to lose track of time.  No pesky dawn to wake him
on an all-nighter.  Unfortunately, those days were over, and the dawn light
brought him groggily to consciousness.  He tried rolling over to avoid the
warm glow of the sun, only to nearly wake his sleeping partner.  Shit, he
thought, How did I forget she was here?  He took a moment to look at her
peaceful expression, from the way the red locks of hair fell over her
forehead, to the slight part of her lips.  He sighed, wishing he could wake
her.  He carefully put the offending lock of hair back in place with his
index finger.  She shifted slightly, affected perhaps by the sunlight now
allowed to invade her view.
      Scully was still half-asleep and rolled over to the right, coming in
contact with something warm. She didn't want to get up just yet.
Mulder knew he should awaken her, but the feeling of her soft,
warm body next to his felt too good. The instant she realized where she
was she would jump away from him. So, he decided to stay still prolonging
this rare moment as long as possible.
     Such a strange turn of events had brought him to this place, he
thought.  Amazing that just the other day, they'd been fighting, and
Scully had even suggested leaving him.  He shuddered at the thought.  But
she wasn't leaving him, she was here, and he smiled at the thought that
she'd be with him for quite some time.  He almost chuckled aloud.  The
argument had been over something trivial, but he'd been stubborn.  That's
what she had gotten angry at, his inability to compromise.
       Scully opened her eyes and immediately she remembered where she was
and what had transpired the past couple of days. It seemed ridiculous now,
even funny that she would leave the Bureau. However two days ago that was
not the case.

 * * *

     "Mulder, we can't hand in a report like this."
"Why not, Scully?" he asked thumbing through the pages contained in
the shiny binder.
     "All these eyewitness accounts are from people who are .. well
questionable."
     "Look, Scully I know this people live in a rural town, but that
doesn't mean they aren't credible."
     "They all claimed to have seen UFO's outside of a bar, Mulder." she
stated.
     "There has been sightings in this town dating back 50 years."
     "So your report claims."
     "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Scully. I thought this was
our report?" her partner asked, rasing his voice a little.  Mulder had been
irritable over the last few days.  The case was sketchy at best, but he'd
had a strong feeling about it at the start.  He was being too defensive,
and he knew it.
     "Nothing. Forget it."
     "No, you don't want your name on it, right. Of course, you've never
believed."
     "That's not what I meant." she said looking into his eyes.
     "Well, what is it?  What did you mean?" Mulder asked leaning over the
desk inches from her face.
     "Its just that... you're not helping.  Skinner's going to want a solid
report, and frankly, I don't blame him.  There's no telling who else reads
it.  It just needs to be grounded in fact."
     "Are you saying you're unwilling to accept that a mass sighting of
an Unidentified Flying Object could be fact?"
     "Mulder, that's not what I mean."
     "By all means Agent Scully, tell me what you mean."
     Mulder's voice was accusatory, and it was pissing Scully off.
     "God dammit Mulder! All I'm saying is you need to consider the
consider the possibility that it was... a mass hallucination!"
     "Jesus, Scully!  I would have expected that kind of response when I
met you, but not now, after all you've seen..."
     "What I've seen has only shown that thing aren't what they seem.
You were spring loaded to believe on this case, and why?  Because it
involved an abduction.  Of a little girl."
     Mulder's pupils constricted in fury.  Scully tensed as she noticed
the black hue they had taken.  She regretted the words the instant they
left her mouth, but it was too late now.
     Before she could say anything else, Mulder pushed her out of the way
and made for the door.
   Scully knew she shouldn't have brought his sister into this. It was always
about Samantha, though, wasn't it?  What if he found her. would he just
accept that she was here or would he want to make the people responsible
pay for causing her abduction almost two decades ago?  However, she
feared this personal quest he was on would kill him before he finds the
truth.  Scully only hoped she would be there to save him before that 
happened.  She wouldn't lose him. She couldn't.
   But dammit, he wasn't considering her point of view.  He never seemed
She almost wondered if Mulder considered her a partner, at least when it
came to his opinion.  Did he think she would just believe 'he's the boss,'
without question?  She sighed.  She didn't need this now, not after
everything she'd been through.  Scully sat down dejectedly on her desk,
opening the top drawer.  She reached her hand far in the back, and pulled
out a small, worn envelope.  She'd written it years ago, when she wasn't
sure if she could tolerate Mulder's obsessive arrogance.  It was her
letter of resignation, just waiting for her to sign and date it.  She
chuckled, amused that there was a time she would even consider using the
letter.  Not now, she respected Mulder too much, and more than that, she
cared for him more than she could even admit herself.
    Scully threw the letter back on her desk, knowing that it was time
to go find Mulder.  He should have cooled off enough by now.  She too
grabbed her coat and walked out the door.
   Twenty minutes later, Mulder walked back into the office and
switched on the light. She wasn't here. Good. He was still a little upset
with her, anyway. He sat down at his desk looking over the report again
and did notice many inconsistencies in it. However, her outburst was
unprofessional and it hurt him. Mulder looked over at her desk and saw an
envelope on it that he didn't remember seeing earlier this afternoon.
Getting up, he slid the letter out of the envelope and started to read
it. Her resignation letter. No! She couldn't do this to him! Couldn't she?
The past few years have been filled with tragedies for her. Her abduction.
Her sister's untimely death. Her cancer. They were all his fault. Scully
had every right to leave. It was only natural that she would want to get
away from someone who caused her so much pain. Mulder never thought that
the best way to protect her meant that he had to let her go.

     Shadows had begun to creep over the landscape, casting eerie
shapes and lines across the grounds around the reflecting pool.  She
passed several benches, all empty.  The weather was cold, and the sun was
setting, so she wasn't surprised.  The Jefferson Memorial had been
similarly vacated.  The air was silent, and Mulder was no where in sight.
She sighed.  'Where is he?'

   Mulder glanced around the empty, darkened office.  His anger had
been replaced by an empty ache.  He almost felt nauseated.  His eyes
passed over the chaotically covered wall.  A shot from the moon landing,
several shots of alien craft.  His diploma from Oxford.  He shifted his
gaze right, and his eyes fell on the poster.  "I want to believe," he
mumbled aloud.  He chuckled nervously, disgusted with the emptiness of the
words.  Suddenly a flurry of anger surged from the center of his chest,
anger at himself, and the futile quest his life had become.  In a grand
sweep of his arm, he ripped the poster straight down the middle, falling
with a shred of paper to the ground.
   He then realized how much Scully meant to him. The feelings he had
for her went beyond being partners and good friends.  He had been afraid
to tell her, waiting for the perfect time, but there wouldn't be a perfect
moment. How many more times would she have to be hurt or her life
threatened before he would muster the courage to confess his love for
her? Besides, what did he have to lose now that she is going to resign?


      Scully went by Mulder's apartment.  She knocked on the door.
getting no answer, she let herself in with the key.  He wasn't there and
his place was in disarray as usual.  She couldn't search this whole city
hoping she'd run into him.  Walking out and locking back up she thought he
must be still mad at her and wouldn't be in the mood to talk so she
decided to go home.

   An hour later, there was a knock at her door. Scully opened it only
to find Mulder looking hurt and angry. He walked in and sat down on her
couch. She followed him sitting down beside him waiting for him to tell
her what was on his mind.
      "Mulder, I'm . . ."
     "No let me finish, please. I need to tell you this."
     Scully was silenced by his words. His tone of voice became more
serious.
     "Scully, I wished things could have worked out differently, but I
can understand why you want to leave. The things that have happened to you
these past six years are more than anyone should ever have to go through
in one lifetime. I'm responsible for all of it and can't help thinking
that you shouldn't have been assigned to work with me on the X-Files.
Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have let you get anywhere near me. I
wish more than anything that you could have a normal life safe from
everything and everyone that could possibly harm or hurt you. I ...failed
you and all I wanted to do was protect you and I couldn't even to that
right."
      Mulder reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out the
letter. He placed it on the coffee table in front of her and set a pen
down beside it.
      Scully looked at it. He didn't understand. She started to say
something to him, but he interrupted.
      "I wish that I was the one person that could have made you happy,
Scully." Scully looked at it. He didn't understand. She started to say
something to him, but he interrupted.
   Mulder began to touch her hair softly combing it back from her
face. "I just want you to know that I ...care about you very much. I love
you. Never forget that."
   Mulder waited, hoping she would sign the letter, or slap him, or do
*something*, but she just sat there, staring down at the piece of paper
she had written long ago.  The pit of fear in his stomach swelled, as his
eyes filled with tears.
    Scully looked up, her eyes filled with quite a different emotion.  "I
wrote that letter years ago when I wasn't sure if I could be your partner.
There was a time I was thinking about a transfer. But that was a long time
ago, Mulder. I don't want to leave the X-Files." She paused,  knowing 
her next words would be irreversible.  "I don't want to leave you." 
   Mulder felt the tears of joy come to his eyes as well. She was
staying. It was a long time ago.  A misunderstanding!  Now there was no
turning back. He had told her how he felt.  It was done.
   Scully reached for his hand squeezing it gently. "I'm not going
anywhere, Mulder." She moved closer to him and he took it as a hint.
      Mulder framed her face in his hands and kissed her gently. Finally
after all this time. She moved closer to him pressing her body against his
which deepened the kiss. They were both surprised at the passion that was
unleashed by it. However, neither wanted it to stop. It felt right.
  
    Scully gasped as he pulled away, startled at the lack of contact.  She
looked up cautiously, afraid at what thoughts might have stopped Mulder.
But he was smiling.  A grin she had never seen.  One untainted by pain or
guilt, but pure contentment.
    "Scully, I..."
    "I know."
    "No, let me say it."
 She stared at the dark brown pools of his eyes, waiting for him to
continue.
    "Scully, I love you."
     She closed her eyes and smiled.  "I love you too."
    He kissed her forehead, pressing his lips between her eyebrows.  Then,
stepping back and holding out his hand, he spoke.  "Then show me."
    She took his hand and nodded.

   Walking to the bedroom, Scully couldn't believe this was actually
 happening.  She would finally be able to feel Mulder's hands all over
 her body.  Touching her. Caressing her.  She shuddered at the images 
 it evoked in her mind, anticipating only what she'd only dreamed. 
 Scully all of a sudden felt nervous and excited 
 at the same time.  
   Mulder turned on the bedside lamp illuminating the room in a soft 
warm glow. He noticed how that simple act made her features look
even more beautiful.  
   Scully moved closer to him needing to touch him.  She began to 
take off his suit jacket and unbutton his shirt loving the feel of his
warm skin under her fingers.  The shirt and tie fell to the floor 
forgotten.  It still wasn't enough for her she thought as she pulled
the white undershirt off and over his head.
 She trailed her fingers down his chest. Slowly. 
   Mulder stopped her by covering his hands with hers. "Your turn."
He said the passion evident in his voice.  Scully reached down to the 
buttons of her blouse, but Mulder turned her hands away.
   Scully was trembling as he slowly removed her clothes, piece by 
piece, until she was standing before him with nothing left to the 
imagination.  
 Mulder's eyes slowly raked over her body.  She was even more 
beautiful than he thought.  Quickly removing the rest of his clothing,
they moved together onto her bed.
     
   "You won't be needing those," Scully whispered, hastily unbuttoning
Mulder's jeans and pulling them to the floor.  Her hands were shaking as
she slowly pulled down his boxers, heart pounding as he too joined her
nakedness.
    Unexpectedly, Mulder chuckled as he pulled Scully by the wrists and
fell backwards on to her bed.  He stopped as her weight came on top of his
own.  Turning serious, Mulder stared deep into Scully's eyes, reading
every emotion in the blue pools.
    "Scully.."
    "Yes, Mulder.."  She silenced him with a deep kiss, moaning softly as
Mulder's hands slid over her smooth skin, from the top of her back to the
curves of her thighs.
   Scully broke the kiss, turning her lips instead to the soft skin of
Mulder's neck, down to his collarbone and shoulders.  She raked her nails
softly across Mulder's exposed nipples, invoking a deep intake of breath
from Mulder, whose eyes were closed in pure bliss.
    Suddenly turning up to kiss his chin, Scully spoke, "Tag, you're it."
    Mulder laughed softly as he rolled over on the bed.  "A game, Doctor?
You should know, I always win."
    "Shut up and kiss me, Mulder."
    Mulder did so without another word, exploring every crevice of
Scully's silky mouth.  Better than every fantasy, Mulder thought to
himself.  He sucked her lower lip gently into his mouth, then kissed her
chin, moving lower onto her neck, down to her Adam's apple.  Mulder ran a
hand through her soft hair just as he closed his mouth on her left nipple.
Scully let out a yelp and arched to him, grabbing his hair with one hand,
the bed sheets with the other.  "Oh, Mulder!" she shouted.
    Scully twitched in pure euphoria, losing herself after so many years
of anticipation.  
   This was much better than she had imagined.  She never thought his
mouth would feel this good on her skin. This warm.  Mulder circled 
her nipple with his tongue applying slight pressure which elicited another 
moan from her.  Scully closed her eyes and arched her head back onto
the pillows as his mouth became more demanding lightly nibbling at her
breast. Her hand joined the other one to tangle in his thick hair.
   Mulder paid the same loving attention to her right breast. Sucking 
it gently between his lips.  He could feel her writhing beneath him, her 
moans of pleasure arousing him even more, especially since he was
the one causing her control to slip away little by little.  Mulder 
wondered for a long time what it would take for Scully to lose
control and now he knew.  And he was the one responsible for it.
   Scully felt his mouth continue its journey down her body making 
it harder for her to think about anything else except the sensations 
of his mouth on her skin.  She reached out for him, trying to clutch
his shoulders before the pleasure threatened to send her over the edge.
She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She wanted
him now. 

    And she had him, around her, on her, and inside her, breaking every
fantasy to pieces with the ecstasy of reality.  She pressed him against her
as he slid in and out, in a deliciously smooth rhythm.  She groaned his
name into his ear, then backed away to relish the look of pure
determination in his eyes.  He was biting his lip as he sent wave after
wave of sensation through her.
    Then, he opened his eyes, and it hit her, every pure emotion, from
love, to desire, to friendship, to relief, to bliss and back radiated
from the dark pools of his eyes.  And she lost it, shutting her own eyes
as she tightened on him, squeezing her thighs as the ripples of orgasm
shocked her.  She stifled a scream as Mulder kissed her neck.
    "Oh Mulder... you're.. I feel... so good, so good..."
    Mulder moaned as he thrust one final time, freezing every muscle as
his own release radiated through him, from his belly downward to his toes.
    "Scully!"
    She squeezed him tighter inside herself as he came, holding his head
in her hand while he crashed into her.  Slowly he relaxed and stayed
still, nearly immobile.  Silence passed for a moment.
    "Mulder?"
    He let out a barely audible "mmph" against her neck, then brought his
right hand up to caress her face.
    "That was..."
    "Indescribable?"
    She nodded, a smile crossing her face.  Mulder stroked her shoulder
absently.  "I'm so glad we did this."
    "You're glad?  How do you think I feel."
    "With any luck, spent."
    Scully growled, flipping over on top of Mulder, still nestled inside
her.  "Not a chance, G-man."

*****

   Scully snuggled closer to Mulder.  Her lover, it just dawned on her.
First partners, then friends. Now lovers.  This just added 
another facet to their relationship, strengthening the bond even more,
if possible.  It was nice not to wake up in her bed alone; to have 
someone next to her.  And not just anyone, but the man she realized 
loved.  
   Scully watched him sleep.  He looked so peaceful, the worry lines
smoothed in the innocence of slumber.   No one would 
guess all the inner demons he battled constantly.  The part of him he  
tried to keep under control while continuing on this journey. She wished she 
could help him, do anything to ease his struggle.  If only they hadn't
waited so long.
   Her eyes filled with tears thinking about all the time they had lost. 
The time they could have been together physically; emotionally they
already were.  It shouldn't have taken a misunderstanding to bring
herself this close to Mulder.  Of all the things that happened between
them over the years - good and bad - and it took a simple mistake to
admit her feelings for him.  
   Scully didn't even notice that Mulder had awakened.  Embarrassment 
flushed her face, as she quickly tried to brush the tears away.
 "What's wrong?" Mulder asked her, his voice filled with the all too
 familiar concern.
   Scully turned to look at him.  "It took us this long . . . why didn't
we do this sooner?  All the time we wasted when we could've been . . .
together." she said blinking back tears.  
   Mulder wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.  "Shh
it doesn't matter, we're together now." he whispered into her hair. 
That's what matters.  We can make up lost time." He smiled softly.
   She smiled back and sealed their brighter future with a kiss.   

END