Disclaimer:  Yeah, right like these characters are mine.  

Category: VA
Classification:  Mulder/Scully UST
Rating: PG
Archive: Gossamer.  Others ask me.
Spoilers: Field Trip
Feedback:  Knock yourself out.
Summary:  Distinguishing between the real and imagined is still 
hard for Scully.   

"Altered Perceptions" (1/1)
by Lisa  
(haven599@msn.com)


Hampton Inn 
Boone, NC 
Room 202
11:07 p.m.

    Scully thought she was tired and had gotten ready for bed, but
now couldn't settle down.  Her mind kept wandering about the events
surrounding the past couple days, especially her hallucinations about  
Mulder's "death."  She didn't want to go through that ever again and
selfishly hoped when it happened she would already be dead. His death 
would be way too much pain for her to endure.   
    Yet again, they escaped death.  How many times was that now? 
She'd lost track.  Their numbers must be up by now.  Recently, Scully
had nightmares that they died together. Somehow, it seemed fitting 
that it would happen that way. The only other option was dying to 
protect Mulder which she would do in an instant. If her life ended 
that way, so be it.  
    During the ride to the hospital, Mulder never let go of her 
hand.  If she had been able to get up, she would have held him as 
long as possible.  Scully wanted to make sure he was *really* Ok
and that meant touching him.  Once they got to the hospital, they
were separated, not seeing each other until discharge this morning.
    Scully decided to get her report for Skinner done while everything 
was still fresh in her mind.  Mulder had more of the hallucinogen in 
his system and he slept on and off throughout the day which was fine
with Scully.  She didn't know what to say to him, wondering if he 
remembered the experience, or at least the hallucination they shared. 
    Her mind began wandering again.  She glanced at the door between 
their rooms.  What if Mulder wasn't over there?  What if she was the
only one that was rescued and he was still under the ground being 
consumed?  Scully couldn't hear any noise coming from the next 
room.  She scrambled out of bed and knocked on the connecting door. 

    "I thought you were asleep.  I was trying to be quiet."  Mulder 
stated, opening the door.  He was dressed in a tank top and gray
sweat pants. 
    He was here. He was all right.  "Sorry.  I . . . was just having
a hard time getting to sleep." 
    "So, then everyone has to be up?"  
    "No.  I'll just go back to bed."   she replied, walking away.
    "I was just kidding.  Come and join me, this movie's really 
far-fetched."  he said. "Something about alien abductions
and government cover-ups.  Who would believe that?" Mulder 
grinned.  
    "Yeah, right."  she answered weakly. 
    "I had this unbelievable hallucination, Scully." Mulder admitted.
    "Then, you remember them?" Scully looked hopeful.
    "Yeah.  I abducted this alien and showed it to you.  Then you 
believed me.  You believed everything without questioning it, 
however, I was skeptical of you believing so quickly and easily. 
How's that for a trip?" Mulder sat back on the bed, focusing his
attention back to the movie.
    "Mulder, mine wasn't so funny.  It was . . ."  Scully searched
desperately for the right word. 
    Mulder noticed she didn't find any of this amusing. "Scully, are
you all right?"  He switched the TV off, coming closer to her.  
    "Frightening.  Terrifying."  She shivered at the memory. 
    "Do you want to tell me about it?" Mulder asked, alarmed.
    "I don't think you want to hear it."  Scully admitted. 
    "I want to hear anything you want to tell me."  Mulder assured 
her.  "Sit down."  
    Scully eased into the cushioned chair.  Mulder took the one
opposite her.  
    "My experience . . . hallucination involved you.  You were 
killed in the same manner as the Schiffs.  I had to confirm it by
dental records.  Everyone kept telling me it was murder, a ritualistic 
killing, just like I told you before we left.  At your wake, Byers,
Langly, and Frohike believed it, too.  I couldn't understand it. I . . "
    "I'm sorry you had to go through that." Mulder could see the
hurtful expression on her face.  "I remember the part about you
telling me about my death and wake as well as the mushrooms."
he remarked.
    "Skinner told me to accept your death. Get over it."  she murmured. 
"Like I could do that." Scully rubbed her face.
    "Is it still hurting?" Mulder asked, referring to her burned skin.
    "A little.  What about you?" 
    "Yeah." 
    "Did you put that cream on they gave us at the hospital?" Scully 
went over to him, touching his face lightly.  
    Mulder nodded, as she touched his face gently. "Hopefully, it 
will get better in the next few days.  I hope it won't be permanent."
    "It'll be all right.  We survived far worse than this, right?"
    Scully walked away from her partner to the other end of the
room.  "What if we're not OK? I mean . . . we're still in the caves?"
    "We're not, Scully.  We escaped."  he replied.
    "Did we?"  Scully started pacing across the carpeting.  "We 
thought we did before and we were still having the hallucination.
This could be the same thing.  Oh, God, Mulder . . . It can't be."
    "Scully, it's not."  Mulder grasped her arm, pulling her down 
to the bed with him.  "Don't do this to yourself."  
    "I don't want to." she sighed, resting her head against him.
    Mulder didn't realize she was having a hard time with their
recent ordeal.  He remembered Scully crying softly in the ambulance.
The only thing he could do was squeeze her hand tighter until they
arrived at the hospital.  After that, they were separated and he 
didn't get to see her until they were released.  Today, she had 
been working on their damn report which could've been put off for
awhile.  
    "I promise you we're really here in this hotel room."  
    "How can you be so sure?"  Scully cried.  "It could be 
another . . ."
    "My memories."  Mulder stated.  
    "Memories?"  she repeated. 
    "Yes.  Remember I didn't know how I got to my apartment? Well, 
I remember being rescued, going to the hospital, and riding with 
you in the car here."  he said.  "So, it's real." 
    "I remember you complaining about the song on the radio I 
wanted to hear."  she commented.
    "But, I let you listen to it anyway."
    "Because you fell asleep." Scully reminded him.  
    "Don't you remember the hospital?"  Mulder asked.
    "Yes, I do."  she answered.  "That was different than being in 
Skinner's office - which felt like I was there, but not really there. 
Does that make sense?" 
    "Yes.  Feeling was the key."  Mulder concluded.  "Didn't you
feel disconnected with the surroundings, as if walking in a fog the
whole time?" 
    "You could say that.  Yes."  she agreed.  "Like having a bad 
cold and then it finally clears and you can breathe again."  
    Mulder gathered her close. "Doesn't this feel real?" he asked.
He stroked her back through the soft silk of her pajamas. "We'll
still be here in the morning." 
    Scully wrapped her arms around his waist.  "Right here? Like
this?" She expected another joke, but wasn't prepared for what 
he said.  
    "If that's what you want." 
    Scully thought before answering.  She did want to be right here.
With him.  "Yes." she murmured.  "Yes.  It's what I want."  She 
snuggled closer to him.  
    Nestling into Mulder's embrace, she was able to breathe again.    
  
****
END (1/1)