Disclaimer:  Mulder and Scully don't belong to me.  I would 
never claim them, either. That would be dishonest.

Category: SA
Classification:  Mulder/Scully UST
Rating: R
Archive: Gossamer. Others ask me.
Spoilers:  I don't think there are any.
Feedback:  Always.
Summary:  A man gives into his desires. 


"Aberration" (1/1)
by Lisa 
(haven599@msn.com)


    The apartment was dimly lit and looked like it hadn't been cleaned
in weeks.  Papers and books were strewn on the furniture and floor.
The small kitchen had unwashed dishes stacked in the sink.  Empty 
bags and boxes from fast food restaurants littered the counter and 
table.  

    A tired young man sat on an old worn couch.  A table in front 
of him held an ash tray with remnants of cigarette butts along with
a bottle of vodka next to it, barely drank. A gun was also placed on
its surface.   

    He wouldn't fall asleep.  It was tempting, but not as much as the
woman who occupied the chair directly across from him.  She was the
only woman who treated him nicely, not like those others that looked
at him like he wasn't worth their time.  He only needed her.  He had
finally done something right in his life.  He got the girl.  Rising 
from the couch, he went over to her, stroking her fiery red hair.
"Dana,"  he said softly.  

    Dana Scully tried to ignore Todd Norvel's affections, but it was
getting harder and harder since she had been here since late last night.
If only she didn't work late, he wouldn't have been able to kidnap 
her.  She would be at home right now watching TV or curled up with
a good book.  Maybe she'd be somewhere with Mulder.  Maybe not.
It was Saturday and they didn't see each other on weekends unless
Mulder called her begging to drive to some godforsaken place to see
something he felt was paranormal.  
 
   Scully tried not to cringe as his hand grazed her cheek.  She should
be grateful it wasn't the other side of her face.  That side hurt and
she was sure bruises had formed already.  Bruises from her escape
attempts.  Well, at least the throbbing had stopped.  He had hit her
a couple of times.  Scully decided it wasn't worth it.  She needed to
stay awake and alert if she was going to overpower him and escape.
The repeated abuse would only weaken her body and mind.  
Concentration and timing were the key to her freedom.  

    "Do you want something to eat now?"  he asked, removing his
hand from her face.  

    Scully shook her head.  She refused all his attempts at food for
fear that he may drug anything he served her, then she'd have no
chance of being safe.  The only problem was her energy and strength
was depleted without nourishment.  However, she had a glass of 
water that she saw him fill from the tap.  

    "You're so beautiful.  So beautiful."  Todd leaned close to her
and she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

    It was just like the notes he sent her the past couple of months.
Letters, phone calls, and messages left on her answering machine    
saying they should be together.  Variations of that theme.  

    "Dana. Why won't you talk to me?"  At work it was different,
but now were alone.  You're not too busy with your partner
now." Todd sneered.

    After Scully received the second note she told Mulder.  They 
analyzed the pieces of paper, but no prints showed up.  The calls
were too short to trace, which meant he knew what he was doing.
Scully wanted the insight Mulder could provide as a profiler, however
they kept running into dead ends.  Mulder looked guilty like he 
did something wrong by not finding out who was doing this to her. 
"What do you want me to say?"  she asked.

    "How come you didn't remember my name?  How could you forget
that?  It's only common courtesy."  He had sat back down on the couch
and was lighting another cigarette.  

    Scully could tell he was getting agitated again about that issue. 
"I . . . Mulder and I were . . ."  She shouldn't have said Mulder's
name.  That would set him off.  

    "Mulder, it's always Mulder.  God dammit, maybe I should have 
gotten rid of him, but then they'd just give you another partner."  
Todd explained.  "Mulder's a loser anyway.  He can't take care of
you the way I can." 

    The truth was that she and Mulder had gotten closer because of
this situation.  He would often reassure her they'd find out who 
this guy was and get him.  She tried not to get upset that someone
was stalking her because it wouldn't help.  That's what he wanted.
To instill fear in his victim. That was his form of control.  But 
sometimes her resolve wasn't as steady.  Mulder could tell when she
was upset and could convey with a look or touch that he wouldn't let
anything happen to her.  He sometimes used I - like it was his 
responsibility to make sure this guy was caught.  

    "You're thinking about him, aren't you?"  he said.  "He can't
save you.  He won't find you." 

    Todd was right.  Mulder wouldn't find her.  But, she could get
out of here on her own.  Somehow.  

    "Maybe I should call him.  Let him know what he's missing."
Todd's eyes raked over her body.  

    "No, Todd.  Don't."  She feared he might hurt Mulder or shoot him.

    "Well, now we're making progress.  You remembered my name."    
  
    Todd had been upset she couldn't recall who he was.  He worked
in one of the computer labs and would run potential suspects names
through databases.  Scully had exchanged pleasantries with him a few
times.  Mulder was usually with her when they went to the lab. Todd
seemed nice, but she had no idea he was the *one.*  If so, it would
have been so much easier.  She would have gotten a restraining order
against him.  She could put a face to her fear.   

    "Ok, I won't.  I don't like him, anyway."  Todd stated.  "But, I 
do like having something he cares for so much."  He came closer to
her, touching her again.  Scully pulled away as best as she could. 

    "Do I have to put the handcuffs on again, Dana?" 

    Scully shook her head.  "No."  she said.  Not the handcuffs. 
In the lab, he had grabbed her gun and whispered her name in
the tone of voice he used on the phone.  He told her not to cause
a scene or he would shoot someone.  Well, there was no one in the
hallway and the stairs were nearby.  He forced her down them and
into the parking garage.  It all happened so fast.

    When she heard him say her name, she was overcome with a sense 
of dread and could hardly believe this was happening.  She was 
handcuffed to the inside door handle while he drove her to his
apartment.  She almost punched 911 on her cell phone before he
grabbed it away from her, tossing it into the back seat.  

    Scully had convinced him to take off the handcuffs because 
they were hurting her wrists, which was the truth, but she also
didn't want him to - "I'll let you touch me if you loosen the ropes
from my ankles."  She hoped that sounded convincing.

    Todd looked at her, not sure whether her proposition was sincere.
He wanted to do the same thing to her as before.  God, she was 
just so fucking beautiful.  He couldn't resist her.  His friends never
dated anyone as pretty as Dana.  Now he would be the one 
all his buddies envied.  He wanted to make them all jealous, show 
them he could be with someone classy, too.  Todd reached down 
to her feet.

    Her gun was only a few feet away on the table.  If she could 
knock him down as he touched her, she'd have a few seconds to
scramble for her weapon.  It was the only chance she had.  

    "Only a little bit,"  Todd said.  

    Scully braced herself for his hands on her again.  He moved 
his hand to her waist and Scully pushed him over and started to
crawl towards the table.

    "Bitch,"  he muttered and grabbed her leg.  

    Scully tried to kick him, but the rope was a hindrance.  She 
needed to get to her weapon.  Inching along the carpet, she 
felt him pulling at her clothing, making her slide backwards and 
away from her goal.  With her last ounce of strength, Scully grabbed
her gun and  turned around pointing it right at him.  

    Todd didn't think she was that strong.  Earlier, he had no problem
controlling her.  Now was different.  He should have kept that gun
with him at all times, but when he was that close to her, she could 
have just taken it.  He didn't want to hurt her unless she deserved it.

    Scully backed away from him, trying to loosen the rope with one
hand while keeping the gun aimed at her captor.  

    "Dana, give me the gun."  Todd ordered.  Dammit, she wasn't 
going to do this to him.  Not when he was this close.  He lunged
towards her.  

    Scully fired the gun.  

*****        
 
    The ambulance arrived within minutes and the police soon after
Todd was in critical condition.  Scully told the officers what  
happened to him.  She explained that he had been stalking her
for the past couple of months.  They seemed upset that she didn't 
contact them since she had been a stalking victim.  Scully informed
them she was an FBI agent and she had been pursuing this matter
through the bureau.  She didn't know his identity until last night
when he kidnapped her, otherwise she would have filed a restraining
order against him.  If he lived, he would be charged with kidnapping
and assault of a federal agent.  At least that was something.  

    Scully sat at the kitchen table.  All the questions seemed to 
be answered to the officers satisfaction.  It was over. She felt 
dazed.  Numb.  

    She saw Mulder walking into the apartment, flashing his badge 
to one of the officers.  They had asked her if she needed to call
someone to let them know she was safe.  Of course, she gave them 
Mulder's number.  He had no idea what she went through these past
two days.  

    Mulder walked towards her, noticing the bruises on her face,
imagining what had taken place here.  It was *him.*  He found her. 
He hurt her.  "I'm going to talk to the officers then I'll come 
back."  He squeezed her hand.  "Just a few minutes."  

    Scully nodded weakly.  She watched him talk with Lt. Rice.  
He would find out it was Todd.  Mulder's face showed little emotion
as always, so she was unable to tell exactly when he found out.  
They were saying something about her because Mulder looked in her
direction.  The conversation was wrapping up.  Good.  She wanted
to get out of here.  

    "Are you sure you're all right?"  Mulder asked her.  She looked
exhausted.  He needed to get her out of this place.  "C'mon, I'll 
take you home."  Mulder took off his jacket and put it around 
her shoulders.  

    When they arrived at her apartment, Mulder hugged her whispering
"It's over now."  He wasn't sure which of them needed to hear it 
more.  

*****

    Mulder half expected not to see Scully back at work Monday, but
she walked into the office like nothing happened over the weekend.
He was having a hard time with what happened to her.  When the officer
told him it was Todd, he was surprised.  A person they both knew.  
Almost a coworker.  If only Mulder had worked late with her, he could
have stopped Todd before he had a chance to hurt Scully.  If he had 
called or come by her place this weekend maybe he would have sensed
something was wrong.  

    He felt like he let her down.  It was his fault he didn't figure
out this guy's identity.  However, Scully didn't seem to blame
him as usual.  In fact, she didn't say much at all about it.  She 
just had to be so damn strong all the time.  That made him wonder
what did happen in that apartment during the time she was there.  
Physically she seemed fine, but emotionally it had to be upsetting.
How she was dealing with it?  He doubted she would tell him even
if she was having trouble. 

    Scully spoke with the social worker at work about some unresolved 
issues surrounding Todd's death.  After she fired the gun, she just 
couldn't touch him.  He was bleeding, but she couldn't bring herself
to get near him - to touch him.  It was too hard.  Maybe she should
have tried to help him.  The therapist told her that she did what 
she had to in order to protect herself.  Her survival was the most
important issue.  It wasn't her fault that this man became fixated 
with her when she did nothing to encourage him.  

    Scully understood that.  There was really no explanation why
Todd decided to choose her.  Perhaps she reminded him of an
old girlfriend or lover.  It wasn't the kidnapping that bothered 
her that much; she escaped from it.  It was the touching.  It 
had been so long since a man had touched her.  She could barely
remember what it felt like.  Now, the only memories she had were
that creep's hands on her combined with his heavy breathing that
plagued her.  She felt used.  Dirty. 


*****

    There was a knock at the door.  Scully wasn't in the mood for
company.  She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts.  But, the 
visitor was persistent.  "Mulder, what are you doing here?" 

    "Can I use your computer?"  he asked walking right over to the
machine.  

    "My computer?"  

    "Yeah, something's wrong with my printer and I need to -" He 
searched his coat pockets tossing some of the contents on the desk
before coming up with a disk.  

    One of the items was a pair of handcuffs.  Scully was startled 
by them.  They reminded her too much of Todd.  That was the last
thing she needed right now.  

    "Scully . . . ?" Mulder noticed she was staring at the desk.  
"Scully, you Ok?" 

    "Yes."  she replied.  She was fine.  It was over. 

    "Are you sure?"  Mulder asked again.  

    Scully nodded.  "Yes.  Go ahead and use the computer."  She 
still couldn't help looking at the handcuffs.  It was as if she could
feel his hands on her now  /Dana, you feel so good/. 

    She sat down on the couch and closed her eyes, trying to block
out those thoughts.  Mulder couldn't see her like this.  He wouldn't
understand.  

    Mulder looked up from his task and saw her on the couch visibly
upset.  "I wish you'd tell me."  

    "It's nothing." she said.  "I'm just tired." /I want to touch you/
  /You feel so soft/  

    Mulder wanted her to open up.  She trusted him, but why not 
with this.  He just wanted to help her.  

    "The handcuffs . . . He . . . Todd had them on me . . ." Scully 
said close to tears.  

    Mulder realized they were lying on the desk.  He quickly
stuffed them back in the pocket of his coat.  She didn't need any
reminders of him.  

    "I wasn't in control.  I couldn't -"  she paused, upset.  "He
touched me . . . I was handcuffed.  I couldn't do anything." 
/You feel so good/  /You feel so good, Dana/

    Mulder went over to her.  "Oh God, Scully.  I'm sorry." He
held her hand.  He had no idea. 

    She told someone.  She felt relieved, but it still didn't ease 
any of the emotional pain.  "You can stay as long as you like,
Mulder.  I'm going to bed."  She pulled away from him, leaving
the room.  

    Mulder just sat there thinking of that bastard's hands on Scully. 
Touching her.  God.  Maybe it was better he died.  If Scully had to
see him again, it would be too hard.  If he saw him again - 

    Mulder hated to see her hurting like this.    

    "What do you need?"  Scully asked seeing her Mulder at the
threshold of her bedroom.  

    She was already in her pajamas.  They seemed to swallow her,
making her look more vulnerable. "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I -" 

    "I don't need your pity." Scully said.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't 
mean it that way."  She lowered her head to her hands and slumped
down to the bed.  

    Mulder thought he heard her crying softly.  He sat beside her
taking her hands away from her face.  

    Scully turned to face her partner.  He was looking deeply into
her eyes.  His hands framed her face before kissing her bruised
cheek gently.  

    She sighed softly and closed her eyes.  

    Mulder gathered her close.  His hands stroked her back lightly.  

    Scully knew what he was trying to do.  She pushed him away.
"Don't."

    He didn't understand.  "What?"

    "This won't help.  You can't make it go away with a few hugs."
she said.  "If anyone could help me it would be you, but I have to
find a way to deal with this myself."  

    "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have touched you, especially with what
happened."  Mulder explained.  "Good night."  

    Scully wasn't comparing his touches with Todd's.  Why couldn't
she let Mulder comfort her?  He was just concerned as always. 
Why couldn't she let him in? 

    Gathering his things, Mulder had one hand on the doorknob.  
He heard Scully crying in the bedroom.  What kind of a person 
was he?  He couldn't erase the memories for her, but he could
sure as hell comfort her.  

    "I don't want to leave you like this.  Not when you're this upset." 
She was sitting in the middle of the bed with her legs drawn up
to her chest, her arms folded around them.  Tears were still swimming
in her eyes.  

    "It's Ok."  she said.

    "No, it's not."  he countered.  

    Scully could tell he was serious.  It was in the cadence of  his 
voice.  "I wasn't thinking about Todd when you were holding me." 
she said.  "If the circumstances were different -"

    "Scully, I wasn't trying to -"

    "I know your intentions were honorable, Mulder.  I know you
were trying to comfort me."  she said softly.  "A part of me wants
that while another part is having a hard time accepting it."

    Mulder sunk down behind her on the bed.  "Close your eyes."
he whispered. 

    "I don't think I can fall asleep, Mulder."  she said.  

    "Then just try and relax."  he told her.  "Can I hold you?" 

    Scully felt his arms brush against the sides of her body.  It 
felt nice.  "Yes."

    Mulder's arms came around her waist protectively. He felt her
ease into the embrace.  With her head resting against his chest, 
Mulder could see her eyes were closed. 

    "I was able to escape Todd.  I guess that makes me the winner,
doesn't it?"  she said.  "Then why do I feel like I lost?"  

END (1/1)